Cycle Of Violence

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The experience of many abused women is that the abuser’s behavior follows a recurring pattern.

The HONYEYMOON PHASE: characterized by gifts, attention, promises, apologies. This is the side of the abuser that appears charming. I’m sorry.” “It won’t happen again.”

The TENSION BUILDING PHASE: a period of increasing pressure, mood swing, irritability, demands, and emotional withdrawal. Women say this time period feels like they have to “walk on eggshells.”

 

The EXPLOSIVE PHASE: when the abusive outbursts occur, not necessarily physical, but extremely painful all the same. This is followed by the HONEYMOON PHASE, including excuses and promises…”I’ll change.” “It won’t happen again.”

DENIAL is central to continuing the cycle. Everyone minimizes the violence, excuses it, and wants to believe it will stop. Unfortunately, it simply does not stop without something to bread the cycle. With time, the cycle moves faster. The Honeymoon Phase gets shorter and the Explosive Phase becomes more serious and frequent.